Wayward Bill’s Sundae Phunnys


 
The Fair Sex
 
 
 
Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading  America  

Kentuckians, Tennesseans. Arkansans and  West Virginians  will no longer be referred to as
            ‘HILLBILLIES.’

You must now refer to them as

APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS .
And furthermore

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a ‘BABE’ or a ‘CHICK’ – She is a
 BREASTED AMERICAN. ‘

2. She is not ‘EASY’ – She is

‘HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE..’

3. She is not a ‘DUMB BLONDE‘ – She is a

‘LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY..’

4. She has not ‘BEEN AROUND’ – She is a

‘PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.’

5. She does not ‘NAG’ you – She becomes

 VERBALLY REPETITIVE.’

6. She is not a ‘TWO-BIT HOOKER’ – She is a

 LOW COST PROVIDER.’

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a ‘BEER GUT’ – He has developed a
‘LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.’

2. He is not a ‘BAD DANCER’ – He is

 OVERLY CAUCASIAN.’

3.. He does not ‘GET LOST ALL THE TIME’ – He
 INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.’

4. He is not ‘BALDING’ – He is in
‘FOLLICLE REGRESSION.’

5. He does not act like a ‘TOTAL ASS’ – He develops a case of
RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.’
(Loved this one!)

6. It’s not his ‘CRACK’ you see hanging out of his pants – It’s
‘TROUSER CLEAVAGE..’ 
 
 
Subject: Cow, an Ant and an Ass

A Cow, an Ant and an Ass are debating on who is the greatest of the three of them.

The Cow:  I give 50 litres of milk every day and that’s why I am the greatest!!
The Ant:  I work day and night, summer and winter, I can carry 52 times my own weight and that’s why I am the greatest!!

Why are you scrolling down?  It’s your turn to say something…

(graphics, layout, plus Cow, Ant, & Ass re-write by wayward bill)

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About waywardbill

Chairman, United States Marijuana Party
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